


In the sun where you were

by ScottieisStressed (TeheheHoran)



Series: Just a memory, now [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: AUTHOR DOES NOT ENCOURAGE DRUG USE, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, It is now, M/M, Mild Smut, Mildly Dubious Consent, POV Third Person, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Indulgent, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, bc connor loves evan's ass, bc they're both high, because i want connor high, but it's nothing too bad, dont smoke pot kids, evan is high, everyone's favorite character, i guess? bc it's connor, idk man, is high evan a thing?, like so high man, once again based on personal experience, the return of Head Evan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-10-29 19:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10860294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeheheHoran/pseuds/ScottieisStressed
Summary: ‘GAAAAAAAYYYYY. AHHHH. GAAAAYY.’ That's Head Evan, screaming into a megaphone. Now Evan is going to give his a stern talking to later. But later because oh my god, Head Evan is right, he’s holding Connor’s hand...and a joint, but that’s not important right now.stand alone sequel to And when it comes (I won't be done)





	In the sun where you were

**Author's Note:**

> ya boy scottie back at it again with a big gay mess. this is super self indulgent bc i wanted them to be high. thats it. and for connor to roll a joint on evans ass. yep. i really like this verse i've created and plan to continue it, but i might write some ghost connor first. idk. please tell me what you think, comments make me a happier person and encourage me to write. 
> 
> ps this is a stand alone sequel to And when it comes (I won't be done) so you can read this without reading the other.

Connor is high as fuuuuuuuuuck.

Well, maybe not _that_ high but he’s still pretty high. Evan is sitting with Connor on the taller boy's bed, running his fingers over the bed sheets. He can feel the different textures in each color and fabric; he occasionally picks at a ball of lint and flicks it off the bed. Connor is slowly smoking a joint, propped up against the pillows and laughing at all of Evan’s bad jokes. He offered a hit to Evan a few times already but he's always declined. Just sitting here breathing in the smoke that smells awful is giving him a headache but he does feel a little light and fuzzy. Then again that could just be from being with Connor, since Head Evan has decided to climb aboard the Gay Train, full steam ahead.

They opened the window a while ago when Connor first started smoking to let out the smoke and smell, leaving them a nice breeze. They sit in calm silence as Connor takes another hit. The smoke curls around the both of them on Connor’s exhale and catches the light. Evan can see each individual ray, giving the room a mystical feeling and reminding him of the light coming through trees. He sighs happily and Connor gives him a smirk and chuckles at nothing.

“What?” Evan questions with a smile, feeling a little giddy. Connor just smiles again.

“Nothin’,” he pauses and gives the other boy a long look, “c’mere.” Evan just quirks an eyebrow and scoots closer, settling into the soft pillows to Connor’s right. He turns to find the other already looking him, staring hard into his eyes. He can feel the heat rise up to his cheeks but doesn't look away just yet. Then Connor is leaning in close, squinting a little and poking Evan’s nose.

“Boop.”

Wait. What?

Then Connor is leaning back again, making the pillows rustle, and slinging his arm around the shorter boy.

Wait. What?

“Connor you're high,” he states the obvious.

“Well duh.”

“Yeah but...uh,” he doesn't know how to finish that intelligently. He doesn't get to because Connor is cracking up, bent over at the waist, pulling Evan with him. He's not paying attention to where his hand goes and he rests the burned end of the joint on the sheets, singeing it.

“Connor!” Evan exclaims and reaches over, snatching his hand off the bed and holding it in his own.

 _‘GAAAAAAAYYYYY. AHHHH. GAAAAYY.’_ That's Head Evan, screaming into a megaphone. Now Evan is going to give his a stern talking to later. But later because oh my god, Head Evan is right, he’s holding Connor’s hand...and a joint, but that’s not important right now. Connor is still laughing but it’s simmered down to a few giggles.

“Connor you idiot, you burned your sheets,” Evan chastises him.

“Oh damn,” Connor snaps out of his laughter and stares at the little black circle that has joined the checkered duvet. He blows air through his lips in defeat and frowns at the joint in his hand before shrugging and bringing it back up to his lips. Lips that Evan is now staring at because shit, they’re so pretty. Full and pink, a little chapped, and a bit turned down, like a permanent pout. Adorable.

“What? You want a hit now?” Then the joint is in Evan’s face, close to his lips, Connor moving it closer and closer to his mouth.

“Uh...I-I’m not sure I should-”

“Oh c’mon Ev, one hit isn’t going to kill you, probably won’t even get you high.” Evan figures, what the hell, isn’t this stuff supposed to make you relaxed? Maybe it’ll help with his anxiety, you never know.

* * *

 

One shared joint later they’re high as fuuuuuuuuuck. Evan is currently in the process of try to tell a tree joke but can’t stop laughing.

“Where can-ha! Ahaha- wait ok, where can Adan-pffftt.” Evan is lying flat on his back, because trying to tell a joke while looking at Connor was too hard. Why the hell was everything so funny?

“Oh my god Evan you’re geekin’. I can’t believe I, Connor Murphy turned the Evan Hansen into a pothead.” Connor sounds smug, Evan lifts his head to see his friend blissed out, eyes glassy.

“Wha-what’s geeking?”

“Geekin’, Evan. It means you’re so high everything is funny,” Connor explains, passing him the joint.

“Oh, well then yes,” Evan took another hit the way Connor taught him and only coughed a little this time, he was proud of himself. The smoke tickles his throat, filling his lungs with a fuzzy feeling. Actually feeling the smoke leaving his chest is a bit weird at first but he gets used to it.

Evan takes this time to think about how he got to this moment in his life. After the great Bathroom Panic, as he’s taken to calling it, things did not go as planned. Evan thought that Connor would forget all about him, continue on with his life. Maybe he would tell his family about how pathetic Evan was and they would all laugh. Instead that night as Evan got ready for bed, his phone dinged with a notification, which never happens so he was a bit hesitant to check it. He only briefly freaked out over the reasons he could be getting a notification. His mom was at work and she rarely texted him while she was working. What if something had gone wrong? Oh God, what if something had gone wrong? Was his mom ok? What if she was hurt? Or dying? Oh God what if she was dead? What would he do? Who would take take of him, he can’t take care of himself. He’s a human disaster, he can hardly turn on the oven.

With shaking hands he reaches out for his phone, the screen lights up with another notification and he only jumps a little bit.

_Maybe Connor: hey evan, its connor. I was checking in on you_

_Maybe Connor:  evan? is this the right number?_

Evan is so confused to why this contact is named ‘Maybe Connor’ but unlocks his phone anyways. Turns out it’s something Apple added, since whoever this is stated their name was Connor. It takes him a minute to remember if he knows a Connor, mind still cloudy with panic. Then he remembers what all happened to him today and groans, cheeks flushing. He really doesn’t want to answer, texting it hard, but he can’t be rude. Then Connor will hate him, that is if he doesn’t already. Oh that isn’t helping at all. He can’t have anyone hate him, but tons of people already do. Well then he can’t have more people hating him. Especially not Connor, Connor is so pretty and Evan doesn’t want a pretty person to hate him. That makes him the lowest of the low if a pretty person hates him. Ok, he can do this.

 _Yes this is Evan._ No, that’s too formal, he deletes it.

 _Uh yeah it is._ No, now it’s to awkward.

 _Hi, it’s Evan._ That’s good, not too formal or awkward. He hits send and gets a response almost immediately, it’s almost like Connor had his messages open waiting on Evan. What if he was because Evan was taking too long? Was he mad at Evan now? He really hoped Connor wasn’t mad at him.

_Maybe Connor: oh cool, just checking in, how’re you doing?_

_I’m better now, thank you for your help today. I’m sorry you had to see that though, I’m a mess._ Oh god why did he say all that? Why couldn’t a simple yes suffice?

_Maybe Connor: that’s good! and it’s fine, none of that was your fault._

Evan doesn’t know how to respond to that so he panics.

_Goodnight._

He turns off his phone before he can get a reply.

The next day at school Connor approaches him, not unkindly, he just wants to talk. Evan has never had anyone actively seek him out with good intentions so he freaks out. Connor gets hit in the face with Evan’s locker door and Evan runs to the bathroom to hide. At least this time he doesn’t have a panic attack, baby steps.

After that Connor is more hesitant in the way he engages with Evan and eventually, they fall into a steady stream of interaction. They’ll small talk in the halls when Connor walks Evan to class and text after school. It takes a month before Evan is ready to hang out with Connor for more than five minutes. They go to the park and sun bathe, Connor looks absolutely stunning. He still has his black hoodie on, zipper halfway up, because “black absorbs heat, so if I keep it on, no sunburn but all the warmth.” His hair is fanned out around him, little bits of grass poke up through it as the sun shines on them, making his hair lighter. The color is beautiful and almost makes Evan want to change his favorite color from blue to Connor’s Hair in The Sunshine. He would paint the whole world Connor’s Hair in The Sunshine if it would have the same effect it does now. Evan could stay there forever watching the taller boy, with his eyelids closed peacefully, humming a crooning melody.

The weeks after that they become closer, almost inseparable. They practically live in each other's pockets, sharing a locker, jackets and that one time, deodorant. Evan’s mom loves it, and everything about Connor. She’s so excited Evan finally has a friend and begs Evan to have him over almost every day. Jared on the other hand thinks it’s absolutely hilarious, constantly teasing him about his new ‘boyfriend’. Connor is not his boyfriend, most definitely not, much to Head Evan’s disappointment. So the weeks pass, Evan often going over to Connor’s place and relaxing in his room, doing homework and enjoying each other’s presence. Connor got high on one of those occasions and Evan panicked about his mom smelling it on him and ran out. Connor apologize the next day at school for smoking and not being able to take Evan home, since he didn’t want to drive while high.

But now Evan is in Connor’s room again, but this time he’s high too. What a journey.

When he goes to hand the joint, that’s a roach at this point, back to Connor he finds the brunette staring at him.

Evan blushes at the attention. “What?”

“Roll over,” Connor commands, reaching over to his bedside drawer and pulling out his stash and rolling paper.

“Why?”

“Because I want to roll a joint on your ass,” Evan starts to laugh before looking at Connor and realizing, oh, oh shit, he’s dead serious. Evan goes to see what Head Evan things of this and finds him on the floor crying, swaddled in a pride flag blanket. Where does he even get these things? He’s in too much of a state of shock to even try to question this, and getting gassed - Connor taught him that word, how cute- has lowered his inhibitions.

 _‘What could possibly go wrong? Plus, Connor touching our ass. How sweet is that?’_ Honestly Head Evan, who even raised you?

“Take your pants off please,” Connor says, gathering everything he needed in his hands.

“I do what with my what?”

“Evan, pants off. I can’t roll a joint on your jeans.” Evan is gradually regretting this decision but Head Evan is chanting, _‘just do it,’_ over and over and this seems like to only way to silence him. He stands and only stumbles a little, thank you very much. After he shucks off his jeans, standing there in his boxer briefs and realizes they are every tight. He should probably buy another pair.

Connor whistles, “damn Hansen.”

Evan blushes furiously, “what?”

“Nothing, it's just that you'd Blac Chyna a run for her money,” he's smirking, damn you Connor Murphy. Evan’s face is burning like he has the world’s worst sunburn and Connor is telling a lie from the pits of hell. No one will beat Blac Chyna’s ass.

Evan laughs nervously but feels the scream building in this throat escape a little. The laugh sounds fake, forced, and like he’s in pain. Despite all this he climbs back on the bed and lays across Connor’s lap as the long haired boy tells him to. As he plants his face in Connor’s burned duvet he resists the urge to scream, and instead whispers ‘why’ over and over. After all this embarrassment and anxiety Evan can feel his high fading. If he has to experience Connor touching his ass sober he will actually die. Or kill himself, yeah that sounds like a plan. He realizes that Connor hasn’t moved or touched him since he laid down and that was at least two minutes ago. He picks him face up and turn to the right, looking at his companion.

Honestly Connor looks so fucked up, his pupils are huge, hardly a ring of blue visible. They’re also glassy and glued to Evan’s ass. Well then.

“C-connor?” No response. He tries again, “Connor?”  

“Huh?” The eyes don’t stray from him, there’s no recognition that Evan even spoke. Evan sighs and tries something new, raising up on his elbows he turns onto his left side and extends his arm. Now he’s face to face with Connor who is looking at him in wonder.

“Connor hey, maybe we shouldn’t smoke anymore. You look pretty out of it,” Evan says in concern, frowning slightly. That snaps Connor out of it.

“What! Nooooooo, no no no. I’m fine, fine. See?” He smiles goofily, going a little cross eyed to stare at his own nose.

“Uh-huh.”

“Roll over again Ev, it’ll be fun. I’m rolling the good stuff for you. It’s all my roaches, it’ll be so good for you.” Can’t argue with that logic, and that voice. Head Evan is swooning on the floor and maybe Evan’s dick is interested. He quickly scolds the both of them as he rolls back over. Connor gets to work quickly after that. The temptation of actually touching evan is a lot larger than just looking at him. Judging by the way he keeps one hand splayed across Evan’s cheeks as he one handed sets everything up. To say Evan jumped when he felt something settle in between his cheeks was an understatement.

“Whoa! Shit Evan chill, you’ll make me spill it,” Connor exclaimed as his hands spasmed and he ended up groping the shorter boy’s ass.

“Ahh,” Evan let out a little cry of surprise. Head Evan on the other hand is not complaining, Connor can grab his ass any times he wants.

_‘Oh my god shut up Head Evan.’_

_‘Never.’_

While Evan argues with himself Connor get back to work, stuffing the joint that was cradled in his crack and bending his face down to lick the rolling paper. He could have lifted the joint to his face but no, he wanted his face in Evan’s ass. If that wasn’t a turn on and a half. It gets even better when Connor actually rolls the joint across Evan’s ass, kneading the supple flesh. Evan can’t help the tiny whine he makes as he shoves his face in the duvet, hoping Connor didn’t hear. Luckily Connor is busy putting stuff back in his bedside drawer, and dusts the stray weed off Evan before he pats his behind not so gently.

“Up you get ba-uh ba-bud,” Connor stutters, clearing his throat awkwardly. Evan complies and settles in next to Connor against the headboard. He watches intently as Connor puts the joint between his lips and flicks the lighter a few times. Suddenly it sparks, letting out little balls of fire and erupting in light that makes Evan blink in surprise. Connor brings the flame up to the end of the joint, cupping his spare hand around it to protect it from the gentle breeze flowing through the window. He waves the flame back and forth quickly until the joint lights and then releases the trigger. Connor takes the joint from his mouth and holds it up for Evan, letting him have the first hit. Evan leans over and lets Connor hold the joint for him as he deeply inhales the smoke. He releases his lips from the paper and looks at Connor with half-lidded eyes and sees hold long he can hold it. The smoke burns his lungs and he lets it out in a slow stream, blowing it in Connor’s face with a laugh. Connor chuckles in response, biting his lip with a crooked smile.

“Good?”

Evan hums, nodding, and snuggles into the deflated pillows with a sigh. Connor’s staring at him in wonder again, a look like fondness in his eyes. Evan just closes his eyes and waits his turn, letting the high come back and the fuzziness he can only get with Connor multiply.

* * *

 

“You should get one of those bead doors,” Evan suggests, hanging off Connor’s bed upside down. He did it to test out if smoke would rise to the ceiling like a helium balloon. He’s really high.  

“Evan what are you talking about?” Connor’s on his stomach, peering over the edge of the bed to stare at the shorter boy.

“You know, the beads you hang in the doorway instead of a door. The girl in Freaky Friday had one,” he elaborates, waving his hands in the direction of Connor’s closed door.

“Oh.” There’s a beat of silence.

“Oh shit, that’d be great. Evan you’re a genius.”

“I know.” Evan is smug as can be, grinning like he won the lottery.

Connor laughs at him “Shut up, you’re high.”

“Well duh.”

* * *

 

“Connor shhhh!”

“Evan I’m not even talking.”

“Well now you are so shhh.”

Evan’s trying to call his mom and ask if he can stay the night at Connor’s since it’s late already and he can’t go home high. It would be easier if he could remember how to talk like he’s not high and if Connor wasn’t talking. (Spoiler Alert:, Connor isn’t talking, Evan’s just that high.) It takes him a few tries but he finally remembers his mom’s number and counts the dial tone and rings before she answers.

“Hello?”

“Hi ma, it’s Ev.”

“Evan?”

“Yeh.”

“Evan where are you? It’s almost ten.”

“I’m at Connor’s, we got high..school musical on.”

“Um ok? Are you heading home soon?”

“I was wondering if I could spend the night actually.”

“Oh! Oh um, yeah I guess that’d be ok. Are Connor’s parents ok with this?”

“Yep, mhmm. Totally.”

“Alright then, have fun. Don’t stay up too late hun.”

“OkmomthanksIloveyou byeeeeeeee.” He hangs up. “Do you have high school musical?”

“Hell yeah I do.”

* * *

 

The boys lost track of time hours ago, so it could be only two or it could be six. Evan doesn't see the first rays of sun breaking into the dark blue sky so it must not be that late. He’s on his side, facing away from Connor as the taller boy draws lazy patterns on his back; if he focuses on it he’ll get goosebumps. They’re whispering with their eyes closed, a private conversation that not even their eyes know. Evan’s so enamored with the way Connor talks into his pillow, the words are slurred and muffled, hard to make out. He wants to roll over and see the way his lips are pouted and smushed up, wants to see that soft pink in the darkness. He wants to see the shadows on the strong bridge of his nose. Evan wants to see his hair tucked behind his ears that poke out a bit too much to be considered handsome; he thinks it's extremely charming. Maybe Connor’s looking at him too, drawing a beautiful picture on his borrowed sleep shirt. Possibly he’s writing how he feels, loopy letters, confessions of something else. Or maybe Evan’s still high and is making up beautiful lies. It’s probably just Head Evan waxing poetic about him. Evan checks on him and finds him fast asleep, dreaming of what he assumes is Head Connor. Oh dear, that means Evan is having really gay thoughts without the aid of Head Evan’s gayness. He can panic about that later because now Connor is calling his name.

“Evaaaaaan,” he whines, shoving him gently.

“What?”

“I told you to roll over, I wanna pet your wittle head.” Oh that’s so adorable Evan’s going to die, just melt into a puddle of striped blue polos. He complies and rolls onto his right side, finally facing the boy he’s been thinking about since they settled into bed. Connor reaches out and hits Evan in the face with his hand, trying to find his head with his eyes closed.

“Ouch Connor,” Evan flinches away from the hand that threatens to poke his eyes out.

“Oops sorry,” Connor opens his eyes in response and then frowns. Before Evan could ask what was wrong the other boy wraps his arm around Evan’s waist and pulls him closer in one quick movement. Evan lets out a little yelp of surprise but Connor ignores him, moving his hand up to pet the sandy blonde hair. The taller boy looks at him through heavy eyelids and sleepy eyes, just blankly staring. There was no discernible emotion, like he was thinking or maybe not thinking at all. Evan just sighs, closing his eyes. They didn’t speak again and after a few minutes Evan grew sleepy. It’s nice, he thought, to fall asleep with Connor petting his head lovingly. He could get used to it. So they both fell asleep like that, bare legs touching, sticking together with shared body heat and hands in hair. The red numbers on the clock told stories of the witching hour but they were both safe, protected by a shared bed and dreams of one another.

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on tumblr @scottieisstressed if you want to see me be gay, shitpost and obsess over various things


End file.
